Lump (30) – Ending/Beginning

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She’s had her last chemotherapy treatment.  The poison is burning through her for the last time this cycle.  For the next week she will ride the roller coaster downwards to the bottom, and then begin the long climb of recovery from the drugs and the sickness.

And then we will see.

There are good signs.  Lump is no longer palpable.  The drugs have done their work.  There are bad signs.  Lurking in her genetic history is a predisposition to cancer.  Tomorrow they start work on sequencing her DNA.

I’m relieved to the point of tears that this phase is over.  Seeing her periodically sick and weak – sicker and weaker each cycle, has been heartbreaking.  Through it all she has been strong and determined to beat this thing if she can, and to face the future with humor and strength no matter what.  I am in awe of that.  When my time comes I hope I have half so brave.

We are both terrified of the future, for the future brings with it the surgery and many decisions – lumpectomy?  Mastectomy?  Double mastectomy?  Has Lump metastasized?  But at least this one stage is over.  And for that I am very thankful.

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