Nazghul: “The ritual is almost complete! Swear allegiance to Angmar, and you shall be transformed!”
Amdir: “No.”
Nazghul: “Excellent! Now we shall crush these puny wait, what now?”
Amdir: “No. No thank you. Nope. Uh uh. Not going to happen.”
Nazghul: …
Amdir: “Look, I’ve thought it over and while I have to say your offer is tempting, I got an offer from Gondor, and it has better benefits, so I’m going with that instead.”
Nazghul: “But…”
Amdir: “But no hard feelings, okay. Angmar seemed like a good enough fellow. I’m sure whoever you stab to fill the position will work out fine.”
Nazghul: “You know, we went through a lot of trouble for this. The cave, the flickering lanterns, the altar, the symbols. Those don’t just draw themselves you know.”
Amdir: “I realize that, and I am flattered, but …”
Nazghul: “Then there is the personnel. We have to pay the carghul by the hour you know. And that tailor-made carghul robe – the mystic symbols alone are unbelievably expensive, not even counting the tailoring costs. Mordor doesn’t have that many good tailors you know.”
Amdir: “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m sure you can get some of your money back.”
Nazghul: “We paid in souls. Those aren’t refundable.”
Amdir: “Oh, well…”
Nazghul: “I had to stab you with my special sword and leave a sliver in your wound! I have to get the whole thing reforged and re-ensorceled now!”
Amdir: “Not your most effective sales pitch you know – stabbing me and all.”
Nozghul: “I RODE ALL THE WAY FROM FUCKING MORDOR TO MAKE YOU THIS OFFER!”
Amdir: “Admit it – you fast traveled.”
Nazghul: “FUCK YOU AND THE CREEPY UNDEAD HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!”
(Stabs Amdir. Leaves)
Amdir (to Player Characters who have just been standing around watching this whole time): *GURGLE* “Crap. I’m not covered for another month! Maybe I should have gone for Team Angmar after all – they have single payer. But the Gondor vision plan was… was…” (Expires)
I’ve been playing a lot of Lord of the Rings Online lately. Let us just say that despite being an entertaining MMORPG, it isn’t exactly true to Middle Earth.
ED WRITES STUFF (and nonsense) 