Somewhere in Middle Earth

Nazghul:  “The ritual is almost complete!  Swear allegiance to Angmar, and you shall be transformed!”

Amdir:  “No.”

Nazghul:  “Excellent!  Now we shall crush these puny wait, what now?”

Amdir:  “No.  No thank you.  Nope.  Uh uh.  Not going to happen.”

Nazghul:  …

Amdir:  “Look, I’ve thought it over and while I have to say your offer is tempting, I got an offer from Gondor, and it has better benefits, so I’m going with that instead.”

Nazghul:  “But…”

Amdir:  “But no hard feelings, okay.  Angmar seemed like a good enough fellow.  I’m sure whoever you stab to fill the position will work out fine.”

Nazghul:  “You know, we went through a lot of trouble for this.  The cave, the flickering lanterns, the altar, the symbols.  Those don’t just draw themselves you know.”

Amdir:  “I realize that, and I am flattered, but …”

Nazghul:  “Then there is the personnel.  We have to pay the carghul by the hour you know.  And that tailor-made carghul robe – the mystic symbols alone are unbelievably expensive, not even counting the tailoring costs.  Mordor doesn’t have that many good tailors you know.”

Amdir:  “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m sure you can get some of your money back.”

Nazghul:  “We paid in souls.  Those aren’t refundable.”

Amdir:  “Oh, well…”

Nazghul:  “I had to stab you with my special sword and leave a sliver in your wound!  I have to get the whole thing reforged and re-ensorceled now!”

Amdir:  “Not your most effective sales pitch you know – stabbing me and all.”

Nozghul:  “I RODE ALL THE WAY FROM FUCKING MORDOR TO MAKE YOU THIS OFFER!”

Amdir:  “Admit it – you fast traveled.”

Nazghul:  “FUCK YOU AND THE CREEPY UNDEAD HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!”

(Stabs Amdir.  Leaves)

Amdir (to Player Characters who have just been standing around watching this whole time):  *GURGLE* “Crap.  I’m not covered for another month!  Maybe I should have gone for Team Angmar after all – they have single payer.  But the Gondor vision plan was…  was…” (Expires)

Amdir (Cargûl).jpg

 

I’ve been playing a lot of Lord of the Rings Online lately.  Let us just say that despite being an entertaining MMORPG, it isn’t exactly true to Middle Earth.

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